Skulle tro

Jeg spiser Tyrkisk peber og ser femte filmen på tre dager. Skulle tro det var sommerferie.


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Sånn går no dagan

Ooooh life, is bigger, it's bigger than you and you are not me.
(Hilsen R.E.M.)

I dag har jeg kjøpt to par sandaler, sett på to raringer filme noe tull i Bryant Park, spist burger ved Times Square, sett The Virgin Suicides, unngått oppgaveskriving på høyt nivå. Halvannen uke igjen. Jeg vil være her for alltid.

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And Then There Was One

It's so bizarre to suddenly be all alone in my apartment after nine days of constant company. I'm sitting on the floor where their air mattress used to be with the TV on in the living room so it won't be so quiet. Unfortunately the people on TV were talking about some guy breaking into people's apartments in NYC and the serial killer on Long Island. Maybe quietness would've been better.

A piece of my plastic tooth chipped off today and I really don't want to deal with that shit 1) in New York (or anywhere else outside of Oslo, really), 2) at this point in time, in the middle of TriBeCa Film Festival and right before my exams, 3) ever, anywhere.

I met my favorite professor at the film festival today. We talked for a bit and he's so nice and awesome and it was weird to see him outside of school and I was awkward as per usual.

Fuck, I'm hating this tooth thing. Fuck fuck fuck.

Introspective

What I missed out on in the social interaction department last night, I definitely made up for today. What a crazy evening. I'm continually reminded of the fact that I'm not the shy 18-year-old me who's scared of looking people in the eyes. My smalltalk skills have skyrocketed from non-existent to willingly talking to strangers for hours. I did that tonight.

I went to this improv show by myself and a girl new to the show started asking me questions while we were standing in line and I hung out with her and her boyfriend the rest of the evening. She's Swedish, the kind that actually grew up there and speaks the language, but her family moved to California about five years ago. This is where these guys still live, they were just visiting New York for a couple of days. They were fun and we talked to some other people in line and I'm never gonna see any of them again. I find that to be such a scary thought. Maybe it's more bizarre than scary. I didn't get any numbers, I don't even know if I got all of their names correct.

People I've met the last few years don't believe me when I say I'm shy, 'cause apparently I'm not anymore. I'm really liking this outgoing me, it's the beginning of something big.

Here's a photo I took at MoMA today when I went to see the Norwegian film Happy, Happy (Sykt lykkelig) at the New Directors/New Films film festival. I really liked it and after the screening this new version of me went up to the director to tell her I liked her movie.


I think it's pretty fitting to the overall theme of this post. I'm being introspective while suddenly finding myself in these new situations.

GISKENYC

Today I saw a young woman REPEATEDLY SLAPPING her crying 1 year old child. My heart stopped beating.

And later I went to the world premiere of LENNONYC and saw Uncle Eddy from Grounded For Life (for the second time in New York! the first time being at a Fred Armisen gig in 2008) and then I cried my eyes out at the screening where Yoko Ono also was.



I hate the name of this blog.

What I've been doing since December 5th

Oh, I just realized that I hadn't updated this blog between today and the beginning of December. Some new stuff has happened and I have been updating my LiveJournal (yes, I have a LiveJournal, get over it), but I forget to copypaste the updates to this blog.


This was posted December 13th:

(This first passage was written on my way home from work yesterday. It's still true, but it's not a newly fresh wound anymore.)

My heart is fucking broken. I had the early shift at work today and left before most of the kids, including the one who is so fond of me it's insane and adorable. When I told him I had to go, he said no, no, no, no and gave me a look that would've made anyone feel bad. I'll see him Monday and I feel like this. Thinking about leaving him for good, which I'll have to do next summer, makes my stomach ache and my hands numb. No way. No fucking way.

In other news, I'm postponing New York for certain. I've gotten pretty far on my New School (which is the name of the school) application. And I'm visiting the city during easter break. Hello excitement!

Today I bought tickets to Tromsø too! Going there in January to attend the film festival.



Posted January 25th:

I don't know what I'll do if I'm not accepted by The New School. I have no back-up plan, I'm not applying to any other schools, I don't want to attend any other school, I'm just so focused on The New School I can't think of any other schools. Shitttt. Maybe I'll end up working in the kindergarten forever, just postponing and postponing my education. I really don't want that to happen, but what else do I do if I'm not accepted?

I was at TIFF, saw lots of good and not so good movies, had fun, ate, drank, talked, ran after a dog. Maybe I'll write more about the films I saw. Now I'm watching a Law & Order: SVU episode, I've seen it before.

NS NZ WES GPA TOEFL NY BHG

Hello hello. Nothing much to report, I'm still insecure about getting accepted to New School and I've started looking into schools in New Zealand again, but the more I read about NS (New School) the more I wanna go there. It's the perfect school. Peeeeerfect. WES finalized my transcript evaluation on Thursday, I have a 3.41 GPA which I'm very pleased with. So that's another step closer to finishing my application. NS still hasn't received my TOEFL results and my WES documents were sent Thursday or Friday so those are obviously not there yet and that's basically what's missing from my finished application. Arsgfsafghd I'm just waiting and waiting and I'm very nervous and hopeful. What if my essays were craaaaap. I've never written college application essays before and I didn't really get proper feedback on them. What if I'm not accepted. Shit.

I'm visiting New York for eight nights in about seven weeks, wow. I haven't been there since I moved back to Norway in June 2008. Yesterday was the two year "anniversary" of my moving there. Time flies, whatever. Too much of my life - considering I live in Norway - evolves around New York, I'm a nerd.

My job is still amazing and I'm very anxious about leaving the kids, they should have stability in their life and I'm not giving them that by leaving (I of course realize that I am not the most important person in their lives, but I'm a pretty big part of it). And after that I'll probably never see them again, what the hell. The youngest ones will probably forget about me and that's a fucking heart-breaking thought. I'm tearing up, lawlz. I'll have to send lots of pictures and letters from wherever I might be moving and visit every time I go home. Way to move on, yeah.

And I'm also in love with all the actors in Hipsters and the Russian language. :D

The beginning of the end

I'm currently writing a home exam about the music and sound in Reservoir Dogs. It's interesting and I'm learning a lot, but I'm sick and tired of writing now. Luckily it's all over soon, only a few more pages. But I kinda don't want it to be over. I've had so much fun in Lillehammer the last couple of months. I've met some amazing people here, and only pretty recently started expanding my social network in my class (which previously was narrowed down to those five amazing people already mentioned). I wish I had the chance to get to know the new acquaintances better, but I'm leaving in a week and not continuing here next semester. I don't know, I guess I could keep in touch with them somehow, but I feel like I don't know them well enough for it to be natural. We'll see. I'll get over it.


Trying to make some sense of it all,
but I can see it makes no sense at all.